GIANT cockblocking thoughts. My shirt smells like something that is not invented yet. Not bad, just not invented yet. Tried to sleep but i could not sleep. Thinking of the future and felt sad, alienated, angry and spiteful towards most things. At work trying to forgive myself for taking this job seriously. People looking at me and i look at my keyboard. People asking questions and i try to answer as best as i can. It is very hot, so hot i could pill my skin off with a spatula. I am not going to do that, i do not like spatulas, i think they are tricky. More cockblocking thoughts on the way that i can not stop. I think my cockblocking thoughts are so HUGE that actually cockblock other people who accidentally pass me by. Sent some things to persons with email and now i regret it. I want to go hunting and kill something with my bare hands. I want to inhale pure love from a thing that is full of it. I feel like somebody from True Blood. I wear a purple tie and it reminds me of my father digging the garden. A big guy just passed by and wore a pink shirt and was holding 2 glasses full of alcohol and speaking to a woman in an unknown language. I felt he was saying something very important to her. I want to stop "feeling" things for about 7 years and then have an apocalyptic dream and write a novel about it and then somebody very important asks me "what do you thing about people talking?" and i would say something like "things people say is nothing" or "i am nothing" or "i am you" or "nothing". Going down to the kitchen to try and find something interesting to eat. I will propably end up eating a 2 day watermelon from the fridge and have some more cockblocking thoughts.